This is the first in a series of stories on losing faith.

"Teresa MacBain has a secret, one she's terrified to reveal."

"'I'm currently an active pastor and I'm also an atheist,' she says. 'I live a double life. I feel pretty good on Monday, but by Thursday — when Sunday's right around the corner — I start having stomachaches, headaches, just knowing that I got to stand up and say things that I no longer believe in and portray myself in a way that's totally false.'"

"MacBain glances nervously around the room. It's a Sunday, and normally she would be preaching at her church in Tallahassee, Fla. But here she is, sneaking away to the American Atheists' convention in Bethesda, Md."