Jonathan Swift
A man should never be ashamed to own that he has been in the wrong, which is but saying... that he is wiser 
today than yesterday.
A tavern is a place where madness is sold by the bottle.
A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart.
Every dog must have his day.
Every man desires to live long, but no man wishes to be old.
For in reason, all government without the consent of the governed is the very definition of slavery.
He was a bold man that first eat an oyster.
It is impossible that anything so natural, so necessary, and so universal as death, should ever have been designed by providence as an evil to mankind.
Most sorts of diversion in men, children and other animals, are in imitation of fighting.
My nose itched, and I knew I should drink wine or kiss a fool.
No man was ever so completely skilled in the conduct of life, as not to receive new information from age and experience.
No wise man ever wished to be younger.