Sunday, March 16, 2014 at 11:01AM
Drew Wolfe

Lemony Snicket

Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.

People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict.

I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies.

Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives, and even when it does it can be lost so easily.

The sad truth is the truth is sad.

It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing.

There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you, and there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.

I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but first impressions are often entirely wrong.

Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.

I will love you as a thief loves a gallery and as a crow loves a murder, as a cloud loves bats and as a range loves braes. I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong. I will love you as a battlefield loves young men and as peppermints love your allergies, and I will love you as the banana peel loves the shoe of a man who was just struck by a shingle falling off a house. I will love you as a volunteer fire department loves rushing into burning buildings and as burning buildings love to chase them back out, and as a parachute loves to leave a blimp and as a blimp operator loves to chase after it.

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