Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that.
That took balls.
Please," I said with a snort, "that took ovaries. Of which I have two.
Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.
Genius has its limitations.
Insanity...not so much
If I couldn't be a good example, I'd just have to be a horrible warning.
I stop fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now.
I may not look like much, but I'm an expert at pretending to be a ninja.
I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica.
After a long pause in which he took the time to blink several times, he asked, "You named your breasts?"
I turned my back to him with a shrug. I named my ovaries, too, but they don't get out as much.
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
Don't go buying trouble. It's free an it know where you live.
I'd have a longer attention span if there weren't so many shiny things.