Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.
If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that "individuality" is the key to success.
Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some smaller countries are neutral.
There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.
Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.
Most people want to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights.
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
To err is human — and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
Do you realize what would happen if Moses were alive today? He'd go up to Mount Sinai, come back with the Ten Commandments, and spend the next eight years trying to get published.