Frank Zappa

The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians.

All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff.

Everybody believes in something and everybody, by virtue of the fact that they believe in something, uses that something to support their own existence.

I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.

If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.

It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice. There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia.

Most people wouldn't know music if it came up and bit them on the ass.

One of my favorite philosophical tenets is that people will agree with you only if they already agree with you. You do not change people's minds.