Noel Coward

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. 

It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit. 

I love criticism just so long as it's unqualified praise. 

It's discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit. 

I have always paid income tax. I object only when it reaches a stage when I am threatened with having nothing left for my old age - which is due to start next Tuesday or Wednesday. 

If you must have motivation, think of your paycheck on Friday. 

Extraordinary how potent cheap music is. 

The higher the building the lower the morals. 

We have no reliable guarantee that the afterlife will be any less exasperating than this one, have we? 

I don't believe in astrology. The only stars I can blame for my failures are those that walk about the stage. 

I've sometimes thought of marrying - and then I've thought again. 

Work is much more fun than fun. 

I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop. 

Success took me to her bosom like a maternal boa constrictor. 

Someday I suspect, when Jesus has definitely got me for a sunbeam, my works may be adequately assessed. 

Mona Lisa looks as if she has just been sick, or is about to be. 

My body has certainly wandered a good deal, but I have an uneasy suspicion that my mind has not wandered enough. 

There's always something fishy about the French. 

That strange feeling we had in the war. Have you found anything in your lives since to equal it in strength? A sort of splendid carelessness it was, holding us together. 

Just say the lines and don't trip over the furniture.