Will Rogers

A fool and his money are soon elected. 

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat. 

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves. 

Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans. 

Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. 

About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation. 

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. 

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even. 

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. 

If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate? 

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. 

America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few. 

Don't let yesterday use up too much of today. 

It isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so. 

I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him "father." 

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.