Bill Watterson

Reality continues to ruin my life.

Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.

It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.

You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.

I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.

I wish I had more friends, but people are such jerks. If you can just get most people to leave you alone, you're doing good. If you can find even one person you really like, you're lucky. And if that person can also stand you, you're really lucky.

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway.

You know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change, but pretty soon...everything's different.

There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.

Dad, how do soldiers killing each other solve the world's problems?

You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!