Jarod Kintz

I find out a lot about myself by sleeping. Dreams, they are who I am when I’m too tired to be me.

The mouth is made for communication, and nothing is more articulate than a kiss.

Nothing, Everything, Anything, Something: If you have nothing, then you have everything, because you have the freedom to do anything, without the fear of losing something.

I want to write my own eulogy, and I want to write it in Latin. It seems only fitting to read a dead language at my funeral.

If I told you I’ve worked hard to get where I’m at, I’d be lying, because I have no idea where I am right now.

Whether you live to be 50 or 100 makes no difference, if you made no difference in the world.

I am a master of logic and a powerfully convincing debater. In fact, against my better judgment, I can talk myself out of doing anything.

Like Alexander the Great and Caesar, I’m out to conquer the world. But first I have to stop at Walmart and pick up some supplies

In the land of Gibberish, the man who makes sense, the man who speaks clearly, clearly speaks nonsense.