Eoin Colfer

Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know.

It's like learning to ride a unicorn. You never forget.

If I win, I'm a prodigy. If I lose, then I'm crazy. That's the way history is written.

If you were me, then I'd be you, and if I were you, then I'd hide somewhere far away.

I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.

Trust me. I'm a genius.

Being in command means making tough decisions. Not being in command means shutting up and doing what you're told.

Let us proceed under the assumption that the fairy folk do exist, and that I am not a gibbering moron.

You know you're in trouble when your own imagination starts punishing you.

Good. Illegal is always faster.

Listen to me, goblin. You're stupid, let's accept that and move on.