Mel Brooks

I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.

As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes.

The only thing we don't have a god for is premature ejaculation... but I hear that it's coming quickly.

Hope for the Best. Expect the worst. Life is a play. We're unrehearsed.

If you're quiet, you're not living. You've got to be noisy and colorful and lively.

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

Every human being has hundreds of separate people living under his skin. The talent of a writer is his ability to give them their separate names, identities, personalities and have them relate to other characters living with him.

My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.