James K. Morrow

The next time somebody announces that he plans to get Medieval on your ass, tell him you're going to get Renaissance on his gonads.

There are no atheists in foxholes" isn't an argument against atheism, it's an argument against foxholes.

The odor of bowel wind is known to every human, but the fragrance of book glue has crossed only a fraction of mortal nostrils. And yet it behooves us not to judge the unlettered too harshly. We must stay the impulse to write CHUCKLEHEAD above their doors and carve DOLT upon their tombstones.

I have never known any distress that an hour's reading did not relieve.

Ockham's disposable razors.

Books don't repeat the same words over and over. The Gulliver's Travels whose whimsey amused you at twelve is not the Gulliver's Travels whose acid engaged you at thirty.

Manichean dualism is the single worst idea people ever came up with — this notion that you can divide humankind into the children of light and the children of darkness.