Blaize Clement

They say God never gives us more than we can handle, but sometimes I think God has overestimated what I can take.

Protecting people from the truth is another way of shutting them out.

Perfume companies ought to bottle the smell of crisp bacon. Forget pheromones. I’ll bet a woman with a little spot of bacon grease behind her ears would attract every male within a five-mile radius.

Being young is easy, you know, but it takes guts to be old

She remembered the day that she first realized she would never be able to read every book in the world," said John Clement. "She cried for days."

I told him, 'You can start in the middle and kiss your way thirty-six inches to the right, and then you can go back to the middle and kiss your way thirty-six inches to the left. You can just kiss my big ass.

Heads of warring nations could learn a lot about how to achieve lasting peace by watching dogs and cats who live in the same house.