John Sandford

I'm so horny the crack of dawn isn't safe.

Oh yeah, I heard you got born again.' she said. 'Which you needed since they fucked up the first time.

Gonna rain like a cow pissin' on a flat rock" [drugstore clerk to detective Virgil Flowers.

Time passes, but sometimes it beats the shit out of you as it goes.

It’s the way of the world, man. There are the worker bees, and the manager bees. The worker bees take care of the work, the manager bees take care of themselves.

First she got Jesus, probably fifteen years ago, and that didn’t work out, so she tried Scientology, and that didn’t help, but it cost a lot of money, so she tried Buddhism and yoga, and those didn’t work, so she started drinking. I think that helped, because she’s still drinking

If the AG had been a lightbulb instead of a lawyer, he would have been about a twenty-watt.

When any worthwhile thing is done in the world, it's usually done by somebody weird.